Friday, February 18, 2011

Cat-tle Ranching and Other Growth Industries in a Post-Apocalyptic Economy

Be it by asteroid or comet (yes there is a difference), biological, chemical or nuclear war, the end of the Maya calendar, a robotic rebellion, zombies, aliens, Obama being re-elected or the Republicans winning back the White House, global warming,or kids that play video games it seems that everyone from the politicians, to Hollywood and raving lunatics (no I can't tell the difference either), religious leaders, scientists, and pretty much everybody on the internet (and we all know that the internet never lies) agree that the end is upon us. So in light of the coming apocalypse it seems prudent to begin considering what kind of career to pursue after your current job is downsized by the horrific, violent, fiery end of the world as we know it. In today's installment of our examination of the post-apocalyptic economy we'll be discussing one possible career in the field of agriculture; cat-tle ranching. This form of ranching is in many ways similar in many ways to the current practice of cattle ranching with the most notable difference being the use of cats rather than the more traditional cows or sheep. The logic behind raising cats is simple; they require substantially less care than other larger more traditional forms of livestock, they breed more quickly, they are a hardier breed of animal and therefore more likely to survive the initial stages of the apocalypse in sufficient numbers for viable ranching, there are already some recipes out there, and they serve the secondary benefit of consuming mice, rats and other small vermin which are major disease vectors and will likely see large increases in population as they feed on the remnants of the civilization, people and animals lost in the world's initial collapse. In the world after the end of the world cat-tle farming could well be a family's way out of poverty, starvation and despair and into the new society emerging from the wreckage of the old. On future in of this program we'll look at other lucrative post-apocalyptic careers such as Twinkie tracker, bait, and chia pet farming.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The Fantastic World of Foods for the Future!

Ladies and gentlemen; boys and girls welcome to the Fantastic World of Foods for the Future where the future of food starts today.  First off we'll see the revolutionary new Dip & Squeeze ketchup packets from Hienz.
All the convenience of a squeeze packet plus all the convenience of a dipping cup in one package means double the convenince for double your condiment fun.  It's not just neat; it's neato!  The future of food sure looks bright and we haven't even seen the best yet.  Next up we'll see PepsiCo's new Topicana Tropolis and gosh it sure is great.

The future is a place for bold new ideas and bold new foods and by golly we here at the Fantastic World of Foods for the Future think that PepsiCo's plan "to 'snackify' beverages and 'drinkify' snacks" with their new product is just the kind of bold the future needs.  Well that's all for today from us here at the Fantastic World of Foods for the Future.  Tune in next time for more foods for the future.  And remember folks the future starts today and boy is it swell!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Finding Captain Nemo

As mentioned in the previous post yesterday was Jules Verne's birthday and being a fan of science-fiction I set out to aquire a copy of his final published novel Paris in the Twentieth Century, in which the infamous Captian Nemo does not make an apperance but the title amused me,  a quest which sadly failed to produce the desired result but which was great fun all the same.  The search for this book lead me on a tour of the myriad, okay so there are really only four, bookshops which make their homes in Jacksonville, NC.  The first stop on my tour was a small used bookshop called Book End.  


This stop was actually by far the most interesting and has the most promise for future adventures.  The Book End has been around for as long as I can remember but somehow I had never made my way through its doors.  If you enjoy books and find yourself in Jacksonville I highly recommend visiting Book End.  The shop has an incredible variety of reading material and the owner seems to know exatcly what is in the store and where it is despite having what appears to be only a very casual organizational system.  While there was no copy of the object of my quest there were a number of other exciting finds and I left with a copy of Marvel Comics' Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E which eased the disappointment of failing to locate the actual object of the quest.  And I will definitely be making a return trip in the near future to see what other treasures I can unearth.  It is also worth noting that I did in fact find Captain Nemo at the Book End as Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea was among the Book End's collection of classic literature.  My subsquent visits to Jacksonville's other bookshops yielded the same result and at the end of the day I was forced to return home, metaphorical tail between my legs, having failed to locate the sought after book.  But fear not! The quest continues and I remain resolute and undaunted in my determination to locate and acquire a copy of the book.  Further updates as events warrant.

I had previously stated that I would give my thoughts on the Excellent Concave Serving Dish XLV in this post but seeing as "any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game without the NFL's consent is prohibited" and I do not have said consent it seems that I can't.  Which is actually to say that I've simply decided I'm not interested in talking about it anymore.  And unless you live under a rock you've heard it all already anyway.  Unless of course you're deaf or hard of hearing; in which case you probably read the closed captioning.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Paris au XXe siècle

Today is the birthday of Jules Verne one of the fathers of science fiction.  As a connoisseur of the genre, which sounds so mush better than the equally accurate "geek", I feel the need to celebrate.  I think I may pick up a copy of his final published novel. Paris au XXe siècle (Paris in the Twentieth Century) which was not published until 1994 some 89 years after his death.  Or maybe I'll use it as an excuse to pick up the 5 disc collectors edition of Bladerunner that I've been eyeing.  Maybe I'll do both.  On a far less nerd friendly topic the "Big Game" was on Sunday and I'll share my thoughts on that later.  But now the moment you've all been waiting for; the "Art" is unveiled.
This is a shot of all three pieces on which I've been working.  The one on the left is, at this point, a finished product though I may decide to add to it later; while the other two are at best half finished.  But it gives you some idea of what I've been doing; which in all honesty is quite a bit more idea than I have when it comes to what I'm doing.  Maybe you can fill me in.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Art is...

So, the "Art" is underway with somewhat mixed results.  It has been said that "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."  Apparently my soul is full of indistinct and amorphous blotches of color along with a few shape which appear to have been rendered by the hand of a three year old.  The good news is that I think I'm beginning to figure out how to get the brushes to produce an approximation of the desired type of lines and forms.   No pictures at this point which is just as well since I haven't finished anything yet.  We should have some finished product and accompanying pictures tomorrow.  I am encouraged in this effort by the word of Ralph Waldo Emerson who is quoted as saying, "Every artist was first an amateur."  Not sure I'll ever be anything but an amateur but perhaps we might progress to a slightly more refined form of amateur.  I'm also considering some form of painting which relies less on brushes, which seem hell bent on defying me, and more on gravity which I have already determined works for me.  There is also a plan to build some picture frames, most likely for art created by someone other than myself, which will hopefully be another entertaining project.  On the menu tomorrow humor, or something like it.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Recycling: Because blogs should be green too.

The following is something I wrote some time ago and which previously made an appearance on Facebook.  I would prefer to have something entirely original for the blog today but because it amused me, recycling is cool, and at the moment I can't come up with anything funnier here it is again.

He was sitting in the doctor’s office thinking that he had attained the zenith of human boredom; that point had become a plateau which he traversed as minutes passed like hours and misery moved toward madness. And then the silence, which had settled over the room like a shroud covering a corpse, was pierced. Two old women seated in the farthest corner of the room began to discuss the intricacies of cross-stitching; their voices whispering across the room like the midnight breeze through a graveyard; bringing only the promise of death. And he realized this new horror far outstripped that which had preceded it and threatened to carry him into hitherto unknown realms of boredom and terror. – An excerpt for the horror novel The Cross-Stitcher Speaks coming soon to a bookstore near you.

In other news I have reached a decision as to the form the "Art" will take.  I picked up some starter acrylic paint supplies today so the first attempts with that medium should be coming soon.  This has the potential for serious hilarity.