Sunday, May 22, 2011

Grounded For Life

I'm often asked why at my age I still live at home with my parents. Now I could tell you that the economy is bad and the job market for Economics majors is currently worse than the market for a BA in English. That paying off student loans is expensive and makes it that much harder to afford a place of my own. That the banks are much more cautious about loans than they once were. And all of these things would be true. But the reality of my present condition is somewhat more sinister and infinitely more pathetic. I'm grounded. That's right grounded as in "go to your room you won't be seeing those friends of yours anytime soon young man" grounded. When you're a kid you never really believe certain parental expressions such as, "you'll be grounded until you're thirty" but take from me they may in fact be more than just empty threats. When the sentence was initially levied I have to admit I didn't really think they had the fortitude; the sheer tenacity to carry through to the end. In those early years I counted on the toll of time and tedium to loose my chains by twenty. But here we are some 15 years after the event and over 7 years later than I had initially estimated with the end finally in sight. Which begs the question; what comes next? Not really sure yet but there's still time. One thing I do know is I'll never try to sneak into the cookie jar when I think mom isn't looking again. Seriously; worst idea ever!

The End of the World as We Know it... Or not.

In light of the recent revelation that there are in fact no real Christians in the world and that the rapture is therefore impossible it seems the mundane will continue unabated (at least until the next fauxpocalypse); so I shall resume my efforts to chronicle those events so mundane they fail to warrant any such effort to record them for future generations. Assuming there will be future generations... But in Maya humble opinion we can cross that bridge when we get to it in 2012. And now we return you to your regularly scheduled programming.